Board your flight, park yourself in your seat then sit in wonder as you realise NOBODY ELSE IS SITTING ON YOUR ROW! This is simply too good to be true, ask a passing stewardess if the plane has finished boarding. She clarifies that the doors are shut and you’re free to stretch across all three seats. You stare back at her in silent amazement, she moves on, you’ve made her uncomfortable. Move over to the window seat and look out at dark, rainy Seattle with the biggest grin on your stupid smug face. Stretch, hog all the seats, make yourself comfortable as you watch ‘Trainwreck’.
Two hours of complete comfy solitude, your bubble is burst a man sits on the aisle seat as his TV has stopped working. Oh well it was nice whilst it lasted.
Your tummy is full of barely edible olive pasta and a rock hard bread roll, aeroplane food, it’s time to get your sleep on! Seat reclined, pillow acquired, headphones in and you are good to go. You thought Rachmaninoff was a good choice to help you fall into a deep sleep. You were wrong. Just as you fall into a delightful slumber the orchestra kicks in exactly resembling the sound of a woman screaming in terror. You’re suddenly jolted awake believing for second that your plane is plummeting to the ground. It isn’t, all is well.
As you try to work out the current time in England a horrid thought just occurred to you, “did you take into account the time difference when you booked your bus ticket out of London?” After checking your papers you can confirm that no, you did not account for the time difference. Buggar, you don’t have a way to get home. When this plane lands you will be stranded in London. It’s time for more stress eating, good job you didn’t finish those Reeces Pieces. You are an idiot.
Two hours pass and despite telling yourself over and over and over again that all will be fine, you will just have to buy a new bus ticket when you get to Heathrow, you cannot shake a nauseous worry.
Try to distract yourself with more inflight movies, Paper Towns was good but you discover you’re not quite emotionally stable for Me, Earl and The Dying girl, wipe the tears away and stare out of the window. You’re somewhere above Ireland now, the sky is so bright and blue and you childishly imagine Peter Pan and Wendy lolling about in the clouds outside. As you get over London the pilot announces that all passengers on the right of the plane will have a fantastic view of central London, Westminster, the Thames and a whole list of other iconic sights. Unfortunately you’re on the left of the plane, you do however manage to grab a sneaky look at The Gherkin through somebody else’s window.
After 9 hours in the air you hit the tarmac with a bump and a lovely thought pops into your head, “I’ll be seeing Jonathan soon.”