I was gifted a beautiful hardback, Clockwork Orange notebook two Christmases ago. It sat on my self untouched for quite some time simply because I felt such a beautiful piece of stationary should have only profound things written in it and profound things were in sort supply for me. One day I decided, “to hell with it! I’ll just use it as a journal.” I’d write a short paragraph in it each day and I would always try to keep it positive, so that one day in the future I would have a collection of happy memories to look back on.
Have you ever had a notebook that was so pretty you didn’t want to ruin it by writing in it?
I’m reading ‘Not That Kind Of Girl’ by Lena Dunham. This stood out to me – “When someone shows you how little you mean to them and you keep coming back for more,ou know it you start to mean less to yourself.”
I wrote in this notebook almost every day, with my nicest pen and my neatest handwriting for six months.
Driving my car around on my own is the strangest sensation, I can’t truly explain how happy I am with all my new found freedom and independence. It feels amazing. Simple things like being able to go to town and grab some things if need be. Not having to rely on other people to get me places. I’m very excited that tonight I’m heading straight to the gym after work on my own. I know the novelty will wear off eventually but right now this feels brilliant!
Those six months were blissfully happy, I felt amazing and so content with my life. The months that followed weren’t quite so sweet. I stopped documenting my days when things turned sour and eventually hid the diary because those happy memories had become tainted to me.
Time has passed and I’m ready to reopen the pages and record new memories.
Hopped on the scales this morning for the first time in months. Expecting the absolute worst after two months of American breakfasts and junk food….I’ve lost about 5 pounds! Very confused but shall not question it, shall simply rejoice!